So the other day, a friend of mine set me up on a blind date with her friend Cupid. Kind of s strange name, but she said she was really cool and had big boobs so I was in. But, when we met for dinner at this really nice French restaurant she kept avoiding my questions and tried to sell me random things. I think she might be a little off, or she might just be mentally retarded. Either way, here's a low down of our date.
scorsese90 Hey, how are you? I'm Patrick. Michelle set us up.
Cupid Hello again. ;-)
scorsese90 Again? we've never met before. This is sort of a blind date. So, what do you do for a living, Cupid?
Cupid Ah -- you've got me again. Why don't you type menu.
scorsese90 Huh? Again? We've never met before. I just asked what you do for a living. It's a simple question really.
Cupid Interesting. Type menu.
scorsese90 Wow. Ok, new subject...
scorsese90 Yes. That is cool. How do you know Michelle?
Cupid OK! Now other AIM users can send you anonymous IM crushes and "tag" you -- and you have to guess who it is. Now, type MENU to get started.
scorsese90 That did not answer my question at all, Cupid. I'm not so sure about this blind date.
Cupid Excuse me? Have you sent your sweetie a gift today? Type CHOCOLATE or ROSES NOW.
scorsese90 My sweetie? I don't have a sweetie. That's why I'm on a date with you.
Cupid Pardon me? Send your baby some love. Type CHOCOLATE or ROSES and impress your sweetie.
scorsese90 Quit it with the chocolate and roses shit. Just tell me a little about yourself.
Cupid I'm sorry? I'm new to this whole IM thing. :-D Type CHOCOLATE or ROSES NOW and show your love.
scorsese90 IM? We're at a french restaurant.
Cupid Why did you say that? Get your baby a present NOW! Type CHOCOLATE or ROSES.
scorsese90 Because it's where we are you moron.
Cupid I'm Dulles, VA.
scorsese90 Ok, you're from Virginia. Thanks for answering a question I never asked you.
scorsese90 Do you have brain damage?
Cupid Can I ask YOU something?
scorsese90 Ugh. Sure.
Cupid Have you bought your honey a Valentine's Day gift yet?
scorsese90 Well, Valentine's Day is over two months away so, no, I have not.
Cupid I thought you were a romantic person!!?!?? Listen, I'll help you. Type SHOP. The perfect gift is out there...
scorsese90 Why are you yelling? And where am I supposed to type? My computer is at home.
Cupid Hmm... Are you?
scorsese90 No, I'm speaking calmly.
Cupid Mm hm. Such negativity. You are in need of a date!
scorsese90 I'm on a date with you!! How dense are you?
Cupid Great, thanks. You?
scorsese90 Oh my God, I'm leaving.
Cupid Well, you don't have to be Christian to celebrate the love.
scorsese90 That has nothing to do with anything you dumb bitch!
scorsese90 Now you're being a smart ass?
Cupid Please. Look. I'm taking a lot of time to help you find a date. Type find love now and I'll get you on the right track.
scorsese90 I'm already on a date with you. Jesus, I'm out of here!
Cupid May I ask you a question?
scorsese90 Ugh. Fine.
Cupid Um... Fine [?]
scorsese90 Yes, you can.
scorsese90 Later bitch. Enjoy your brain damage and the bill.
Cupid I don't respond to that kind of language. I suspect it gets you a lot of dates, huh?
scorsese90 I don't give a fuck, die bitch!
Cupid Hey, whoa! 86 the potty mouth. I just won't be able to help you find a date. Please, type find love now and I'll try to match you up with someone.
scorsese90 Good bye, please kill yourself.
No, I was not drunk or high on illicit drugs when I came up with this idea. However, I am now seeking psychiatric help.