Thursday, December 10, 2009

No. 91 "Benign Minutia VIII."

Back with some more menoosh. Hope ya'll enjoy.

-I have a feeling that the increasing number of younger women getting married has something to do with their love for using the word "hubby."

-I was watching "Jersey Shore," earlier today and I'm having a hard time trying to figure out what nationality these find people are. I wish they would mention it at least once, or have some sort of tattoo, color scheme or necklace to give me a hint. I'm going with Cuban since they all have Scarface posters.

-Technically, people that live in apartments are homeless.

-I love going through the "people you may know" section on Facebook. Its just full of people, who I do know, but choose not to request friendship from. My favorite part, though, is looking at the profiles of the ugly/fat/gross people from high school and seeing the schmucks they tricked into marrying them or having a child with. Its a fun game to play.

-Whenever you put the word Brazilian before another word, it sounds much better: Brazilian steakhouse, Brazilian wax, Brazilian genocide. Well, maybe not the last one.

-You know you're not rolling in the dough when you are out at a restaurant with friends and someone orders a batch of onion rings. You don't take even one because you do not want to have to go "halfsies" on the appetizer bill.

-If you hear a girl's phone alarm go off during the day you best believe she is D.T.F. Time to take that B.C., H.O.

-Playing "Never Have I Ever" with a new girlfriend is always nerve wrecking and awkward. Example: Never have I ever done anal. Why'd you put three fingers down? When will this game end?!

-I think a lot of emo chicks are cute, but having to put inch wide holes in my ears, cut my hair while blind folded and wear beanies in the summer is so not worth it to win her affection.

-It's strange when you break up with a girlfriend, but still have all of her friends as your Facebook friends. You kind of liked them, but wouldn't be friends with them if you hadn't known them through her. Its like a silent friendship. You don't talk to each other since the only thing you have in common is her, and it would be just weird to delete each other.

-Essays assigned to students that had a specific number of words needed must have truly sucked before word count was invented for Microsoft Office.

-Does Dexter Morgan take requests?

-Nothing says "I've given up on dating" quite like a girl wearing sweatpants to a party.

3 comments:

Raf said...

I L.O.L.ed at D.T.F. girl taking her B.C., H.O. and Brazilian Genocide.

holy crap... my captcha is "Shnooze". Hahaha! Uh, my bad... I haven't slept yet.

jenskie said...

i enjoyed reading your blog.

Mark said...

I think the minutia posts are consistently the funniest. Also, you may need therapy

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