Thursday, November 5, 2009

No. 81 "Ways To Tell You Live In A Shitty Neighborhood."

-The most popular spoken language is not English, even though you live in the United States.

-None of your basketball hoops have nets, and if they do, they're made out of chain.

-Unfinished or unfilled-in tattoos are quite common. But its alright, only four more payments before that naked lady tattoo is complete!

-The three luxury automobiles parked in the drive way are worth more than the house.

-Denny's is considered a nice restaurant.

-Every house has a No Trespassing or Beware of Dog sign.

-Bars around windows are quite common, and anyone that doesn't have them are laughed at and later broken into.

-The most popular sport in the area is soccer.

-You have to speak to your local convenience store guy through three inches of bullet-proof Plexiglas.

-Most houses have at least two different shopping carts in their yard from stores more than five miles away.

-There are more Whataburgers than McDonalds.

-Nobody wants to go to your mall because its the "ghetto one."

-Almost everything is chained down, even newspaper machines. Who steals that, seriously?

-"Shooting shit" is popular activity among residents, and considered by many a sport.

-People from other neighborhoods often ask you to "go back to your shanty."

-The State Fair is the biggest event of the year.

-There are more Pay-Day Loan places than banks.

-Duct tape is pretty much a part of every automobile.

-Your high school has a Day Care.

-Your middle school has a Day Care.

-Crack is your biggest export.

-All your doctors got their degrees from community colleges.

-There are more gun shops than libraries.

-NASCAR is the most popular sport.

-Your internet is in black and white.

1 comment:

Matt said...

HAHA. So true about basketball hoops not having nets.

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