Tuesday, September 29, 2009

No. 71 "Things Your Boyfriend Will Never Say."

This one's for you, ladies. :)

Can you stop blowing me, Yes, Dear is about to start.

I know you already told me about your day in detail, but could you do it again, I don't want to forget anything.

I don't think you should go to the gym, you should just stay home and eat fried food.

You should berate and emasculate me more in public.

Did you remember to tivo Gossip Girl tonight?

Can I buy you more useless shit you won't appreciate in a month?

Why don't you have more guy friends?

Tell me more about your period.

Yes, that does make you look fat.

Do you want to see my porn collection?

I don't think you have enough shoes or purses.

My fantasy football league has an opening, you interested?

Your boobs are too big and round.

No, I don't want to watch that action movie, I'd much rather watch Sandra Bullock's new and original romantic comedy.

What did you want to know about the bachelor party? I'll tell you everything.

Fuck no I don't want a threesome.

Did you want to drive?

You should stand in front of the TV while I'm watching football more.

Going on a vacation to Mexico with your guy friends much better looking and more physically fit than me is a great idea. Have fun!

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