Tuesday, October 13, 2009

No. 74 "Great Idea #1."

I just came up with this great idea! Its kind of like a bar, but instead of being able to just walk inside you have to get to wait in line for an hour while you wear clothes you hate wearing and get judged by large strangers with clipboards. Once you get in though, that's where the awesomeness really begins. Why be able to just order a drink and receive it in a timely matter when you can wait much longer and have to physically grab a bartender to put in your drink order? And instead of paying a reasonable price for a beverage you can exchange your entire paycheck for twelve ounces of imported beer. It gets better, you won't have to deal with making conversations with friends and girls because the obstreperous techno music will make it utterly impossible to communicate with anyone. Who needs air conditioning when you can sweat your balls off and breath B.O. from a variety of different people. And fuck being able to sit down or have a table, you get to stand up and get bumped into by roided-out men in bedazzled t-shirts. The women that frequent this place will be much different than any chicks in bars. They like to play a silly game where they ignore you and act rude to you because you don't drive a Mercedes. This place will also have something called a "dance floor" where one can make a fool of themselves attempting to rid the world of the stereotype that white people cannot dance.

I call this great idea a "club."

2 comments:

Mark said...

My favorite article other than the one about MySpace pranks.

Raf said...

Good stuff. I like hearing it in the robot voice. Screw reading.

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