Phoenix Suns' players Steve Nash and Grant Hill have been suspended two games each by head coach Alvin Gentry for actions detrimental to the team. According to reports, the two players have been spending an inordinate amount of time helping charities in Phoenix and across the country.
The suspensions were enacted after Hill injured his knee while helping build a home for Habitat For Humanity in South Phoenix over the weekend. Nash was also on location but did not incur any serious injuries, although he did scrape his wrist while attempting to toss a hammer to Hill behind his back.
"Basketball should be their number one concern." Said Coach Gentry "I don't give a fuck about babies or the elderly or diseases or whatever the hell they are wasting their time on. Mother fucking basketball is much more important than all that stupid shit."
Several Suns' officials have noticed that both Hill and Nash have come to practice tired after waking up early and volunteering at a valley soup kitchens. Nash was even late to Thursday's practice because he was reportedly donating blood at a local children's hospital.
Assistant coach Dan Majerle agreed with Gentry and added "Those morons should be spending more time nailing bitches and less time helping out the community. That's what I did when I was playing." Majerle holds the NBA record for most cheerleaders banged in a season at 83. Majerle also recommended that both players should go out drinking with him later and try to score hot ASU chicks.
Both Nash and Hill have made efforts in recruiting teammates to join them in their service to the community, even going as far as pretending to be friends with players Jarron Collins and Robin Lopez after practice. Undeterred by the fact that it is widely known throughout the league that both players are total losers.
It is unknown whether a team rule will be put in place, disallowing players to help the community or groups serving the community. Nash and Hill could not comment on the suspensions, as they were both at a nursing home helping the elderly.
Suns power forward/center Amar'e Stoudemire was also available for comment, however an Ebonics interpreter was unavailable prior to presstime.