Monday, May 22, 2006

No. 11 "Girls With Guy Friends."

When I first meet a girl, I want to get to know her since girls love talking about themselves and they will think that I actually care as long as I nod my head and smile. But, the one thing that always bothers me is when a girl says "I only have guy friends." When this is said it means a couple things, all bad.

She will explain that she only hangs out with guys because "girls are bitches and I don't get along with them," which I will agree with. But, I am a guy and I know how guys think. I'm not stupid, I know that all of her guys don't just want to be "her friend." They all want to fuck her. There is not one straight man in the world that just wants to be just friends with a hot girl. They don't want to help her with her relationship problems or hear about how some guy fucked her over. They want to be the guy fucking her over. No one wants to be that sorry sap that just has to keep her head up when she realizes that the guy she thought she liked actually likes her friend.

And if I brought up this ludicrous idea she would be like "No way, they're all sweethearts, they're all like my brothers." Excuse me naive girl, but you're fucking wrong. They all just are in line to bone you, they just haven't had the opportunity yet. They use the friendship shield so that you don't think they are sexually interested in you, but in reality they are just waiting for the chance to hookup with you. Wake up, hoe. All guys aren't the same, but when it comes to certain situations, we all act the same.

Here's an example from their POV: Girl is dating a guy, he does/says something that makes her upset. She calls her guy friend. He comes over to comfort her, comforting leads to hugging, hugging leads to kissing, kissing leads to boinking.

These guys aren't dumbasses, they know what's up. They know that her new boyfriend is going to fuck up and they will be there to "comfort" her (with their dicks.) They are working from the inside and she talks about him to them. They already have a game plan set up and are just waiting for him to say something wrong or do something "mean" so they can take advantage of her current state.

I understand that it is easier to get along with guys than girls since chicks can be total bitches, but this is also how sausage fests happen at parties. I invite three girls and expect them to bring some of their girl friends. They all come and bring a bunch of guys. They have officially ruined the party. Fuck.

All and all, girls with only guy friends are bad news. Girls with girl friends are bad news too but at least none of them want to fuck her, some of them probably want to fuck you.

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