Monday, June 5, 2006

No. 12 "Random Thoughts Part 5."

I read this on a Myspace bulletin a couple days ago:
"A girl asked a boy if she was pretty, He She asked him if he would want to be with her forever... and he said no. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, he said no. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.... You're not pretty you're beautiful. I don't want to be with you forever. I need to be with you forever. And I wouldn't cry if you walked away...I'd die..."
-Where to start? Well, this never happened and will never happen. Guys don't speak from movie scripts, sorry ladies. Maybe if you didn't think that every guy should be like this you wouldn't be disappointed so often. In reality, we expect each other to be like unreal people. There is nothing wrong with being great to your significant other, but when I see these fake stories passed around it makes me think "do girls really believe this bullshit?"

I love it when I'm just sitting in my dorm, bored and I open my fridge and find out a beer I never drank. I had no idea it had existed, it was like a magic beer sent from God himself. Too bad it was a Natty Light.

Dogs are way better than cats, no contest. Don't even try to debate me. And yes, Dogs are capitalized and cats are not. That's the way it is.

If a person's Myspace pictures are only from far away, of celebrities, or of their friends, they are probably ugly. Instead of being like those other Myspace whores that photoshop and crop the shit out of their picture to make themselves look fake-attractive. These people are just too lazy to do all that work.

As far as groupies for rock bands go, they always go for the lead singer, guitarist, and drummer. The bassist never gets any play, and if they do, its the lead singer's sloppy seconds. That's why I hate the bassist from Fall Out Boy. He acts like the lead singer and always stands in the middle in photographs and is the main character in their music videos. Attention douche bag: You are a bassist, stand back and realize that you're the 4th most important person in the band.

Anyone that wears sunglasses inside is automatically a douche bag.

Its funny when a movie/TV show comes out and the character has a memorable name. Example: Julia Gulia from The Wedding Singer. Whenever I meet a girl named Julia I have to call her that. That's probably why I have no friends named Julia. Another example would be Timmy from South Park. My little brothers' name is Tim and I have to call him "TIMM-AY!!" whenever it pops in my head. I hope there's no movie that comes out with something involving my name. Well, you can't really rhyme with Patrick, so that's good.

Here's what you need to do to become a Platinum Singer: write a dopey song in 5 minutes that includes rhymes like "I once knew a girl named Amanda, and she liked her banana." Oh, and you have to be Adam Sandler.

Hot girls always travel in a pack. And that pack of girls is always hot as hell, or gross as hell. But, every once in a while you'll see a pack of hot girls and all of them are hot except one big fat chick. I wonder if all the hot girls realized that the fatty was with them, or maybe the fat girl got confused and went into the wrong pack and the hot girls were just too stupid to realize.

Here is a nice little quote from Tom: Bulletins are currently undergoing special maintenance. They'll be back soon. :-)
Um, I want to fucking post a bulletin about what kind of Laguna Beach star is most like me. I don't tolerate excuses, and that gay little smiley face doesn't make me forget that I can't post a damn bulletin. This wouldn't work in real life. Example: I hit you with my car. I get out of my car, say "Your legs are currently not moving. Maybe they will work again later." Then I smile. I'm pretty sure that wouldn't work.

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