Jesus does not have a Myspace, so posting bulletins about how much you love him is pointless. Myspace is for people to hook up with each other, not to spread Jesus' love.
Yeah, Jennifer Aniston is hot, but I don't blame Brad Pitt for leaving her for Angelina Jolie. C'mon, its Angelina Jolie
There is not one Italian that isn't proud of their heritage, not one.
I hate it when I'm walking with a friend of mine and they run into someone they know. Its always weird to stand there, not knowing whether to introduce yourself and add into the conversation or just stand there and look at your cell phone that's not ringing.
Whats with California drivers? When I was in "Cali" over the summer, every time me and my friends were driving people would look into our car. They would never be smiling either, it was like they were investigating. "Do I know this person? Hey! Do I know you?" California has like 40 million people, I'm pretty sure the 405 isn't full of your homies, Pablo.
The Public School system is the only place to fuck up the pizza. Pizza is loved by everyone, no one doesn't like pizza. But somehow school lunches always fucked it up. First off, Pizza should never be square, it confuses my mind and taste buds. My eyes see square and confuses my taste buds and that destroys everything. It would always be burnt and greasy and gross. Its pizza, not that hard to make, but it never tasted good. But I'm pretty sure our lunch ladies aren't renowned international chefs, but how hard is it to make a decent pizza?
What the fuck happened to Tom Cruise? Seriously.
I hate stand up comedians that say something like "Women are blah blah blah" just to get applause from stupid women. You are a comedian, you are paid to make people laugh, not to inspire women with your insipid compliments. Do your God Damn joke.
Whenever that show Next comes on, I get excited because I like that show, but I hate it when I get all amped for the show, the guy starts talking and I realize that he's gay. It totally ruins the show and I have to change the channel. The Lesbian Next episodes on the other hand...
You will never hear this at a McDonalds: "Hey dude, that cashier is hot!" If they were hot they would be blowing movie producers not serving you a Big Mac.
Every party I have ever been to has played the song "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey. Drunk people and old 80's songs are a match made in heaven I guess.
For all your bike riders that ride without hands: you're not cool, and no one is impressed. I could do that when I was 9 and by the time I was 11 I realized it was lame. Do you think some girl walking by will see your cool no-handed bike riding skills and wanna jump in your pants? And by the way, the funniest thing in the world is when you crash your bike because of your no-handed riding.
For anal sex: It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.