Tuesday, December 18, 2007

No. 42 "Things I've Learned in College 2."

As promised I have come up with more things I've learned in college. They may not be important, but I'll remember them much longer than anything I learned in Art 101.

  • Writing your name on the side of the beer pong list and drawing an arrow to the top doesn't fool anyone you tool.
  • Having a friend give you a drunken haircut looks good at the time... not so much in the morning
  • If you don't have tits, expect to wait at least 5 minutes for a damn drink at the bar.
  • A fake ID will get you further in college than a scholarship.
  • Roommates are a good source of free food.
  • Trying to jump on a ledge to impress people may end up with you breaking your hand.
  • The guy with the Affliction shirt and sunglasses on at the party will always hit on your girlfriend.
  • Nothing can stop a hungry pothead from eating the 3 week old burrito in the fridge.
  • Dudes will use the trash can as a toilet if the bathroom line is too long.
  • You will catch your roommate whacking it at least once a semester.
  • Only hot girls can cut in the keg line.
  • You have never been to Del Taco when it was light out.
  • Your cell phone will be lost or broken at least three times over the course of your college career.
  • Adderol is like crack in Compton come finals week.
  • "Don't Stop Believing" will play at every party/bar you go to.
  • When you are having a party at your place, you can be the biggest asshole to anyone.
  • You will never wake up after a night at the bars and be surprised how little you spent.
  • The best way to remember a girl's name that you forgot is to ask her to put her number in your phone. "Thanks... Carly?"
  • Kegs are heavy, do not lift them over your head.
  • Everyone has a friend that can do the "fastest beer bong." He is never around though.
  • Dudes that long board to class are douche bags. Go back to Laguna!

There you go, some more valuable facts that us college students have learned outside of the classroom. Party on!

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