Thursday, December 1, 2005

No. 02 "Venting."

I've had a lot on my mind, so I'm going to vent on some stuff I've been thinking about lately. Comment if you agree or disagree but remember that i have a pretty sarcastic personality so take this with a grain of salt.

Hi there, so you are lonely, your parents hate you, and no one understand you? Who gives a fuck. Shut up and gain some damn weight. If you are a 19 year old dude you should not be wearing woman's size 0 jeans. Your music sucks and so do you. Don't think you are "special" or "unique" because you dye and cut your hair crazy colors and styles. It just makes you an object for people to make fun of. Be yourself. All you emo kids look the same but say you are individuals, interesting...

If you go to NAU you know what I'm talking about. The food is mediocre at best and the service is horrible. The "Meal Plan" is the stupidest thing in the world. You get to choose out of like 2 things to eat, and if you want cheese on your burger you gotta pay extra and if you want chicken strips instead of a burger you can't even do that. Whoever came up with this horrible system needs to be beaten with a lawn chair. And for those amazing workers that serve us food: try to fucking smile once in a blue moon. Do you have to stare me down every time I order a taco? Do you have to have a bad attitude and be rude to people that ask for sauce for their fries? Does that make your day? Enjoy abusing the little power that you do have, we're all so impressed.

You know who you are. They are all over Myspace. This is how one becomes a moto fag. First of all, don't smile, ever. If someone takes a picture of you, make sure to look angry and flash a gang sign if needed. Buy a bunch of bandannas or steal them from your mom's yoga bag and put them on your head, around your neck, around your arm or wherever looks cool. Then you need to get a dirt bike, quad, or something with a motor. Take pictures of you on it or next to it so girls know that you can ride it, even though in real life you suck at riding. Next, you need to get some gay ass tattoos that you will regret in 5 years and put pictures of them on your Myspace page. You should listen to a lot of Kottonmouth Kings or heavy metal and make sure to smoke a lot of weed. Then, take picture of you looking tough with girls around your arms (note: if you have no game at all, take pictures with your sisters or cousins and pretend they are your "hoes") There we go! You are now a Moto Fag, go ahead and hang out at Taco Bell at 1am and drive around your gay lifted truck because everybody knows that guys that drive lifted trucks have to make up for something...

Hey, you're hot, good for you. What you lack in personality, honesty, compassion, intelligence, and common sense you make for in tits and ass. You don't give a fuck about anyone but yourself, have no goals or aspirations other than partying and being famous one day. Wow, you are so cool, I want to be with you so bad because you have good genetics and wear a lot of make up. Why don't you try being a civil human being and get off that cloud in the sky. Welcome to earth, bitch.

You have 57094375030 friends, and I bet you know every single one of them because you are so popular. You go on groups to have random strangers add you so when other people go on your Myspace they know that you are cool. You spend 18 hours a day on your Myspace doing nothing except for boosting your already inflated ego. Good for you, now go kill yourself.

Whats up man? So you hate other races for no reason? Your parents must be proud. Go ahead and hate other people for no reason because you are jealous of them. Just wait until you say the N word in Phoenix, see what happens to you. It'll be interesting to say the least.

Three words for you: Be. Your. Self. Photo-shopping the shit out of your pictures at a weird angle will not make you better looking in real life. It will just confuse others, and if you are trying to meet people, they will see you in person and see the real you, and they will be very disappointed. Now, I know a lot of you are artistic and that's cool and all, but have some real, unaltered pics of yourself, is that too hard?

Yo wassup gangsta? Yeah, you are quite the badass with your slicked back hair covered in a couple pounds of gel, pencil thin sideburns, diamond necklace, and chinchilla jacket. You are all the stereotype of the guido. Italians are one of the most celebrated people, and most of my friends are Italian, but you make the whole ethnicity look bad. You are rich because your grandpa was a murderer. You are not from the hood, you are from upstate New York, so don't act all "gansta." You were spoon fed your whole life and you will always have everything handed to you. I don't find people tough that spend more time in the mirror than most girls.

You are the dumbest bitch ever. Seriously your stupidity is incomparable. You are famous because you can give a good blow job. Now, that's something to be proud of. You are a horrible actress and a horrible person. Your nonchalant look on life doesn't impress anyone, we all know your dog is smarter than you. You have no purpose in Hollywood and have no talents whatsoever. You take away jobs from people much more talented than you. And worst of all, little girls look up to you. That is sick. Twelve year old girls are dressing and acting like you because "Paris Hilton is hot." You are not hot, you have the figure of a 10 year old Scandinavian boy and an ugly face, no matter how much make up you put on. Hopefully people will realize you have no purpose for being on TV and movies and you will be a forgetful memory in everybody's mind. That's all for now, so comment your thoughts on what I wrote if you want.

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