Tuesday, October 10, 2006

No. 23 "What We Really Mean."

We all know that women say things that really mean other things such as "fine" meaning "I'm not fine and if you piss me off I may castrate you." And "its nice" meaning "it sucks." But men do the same thing, so this is for all girls that want a look into the average man's amazing brain, here you go.

"You should come over tonight."
-I would like to have sexual intercourse with you.

"Bring some friends"
-My friends have no game and rely on me to get them laid... or in most cases a bad hand job by your loose friend.

"You look hot."
-I would like to have sexual intercourse with you.

"I can't hang out tonight."
-I'm hanging out with another girl, and I don't think she's into threesomes.

"I've got to work in the morning"
-I hate cuddling and all guys do. I don't even have a job and plan to sleep in until 2 tomorrow.

"Um..." (In response to the question: does this make me look fat?)
-Yes, lose some weight immediately.

"I beat these three guys up and then fifteen cops came and chased after me and I got away."
-I punched a 15 year old kid, got chased by the security guard and now I am banned from the mall.

"I won't get it in your hair."
-I will, and I'll tell all my friends.

"Nice dress."
-I would like to have sexual intercourse with you.

"I would never lie to you."
-I lie to you all the time, and I'm lying to you right now.

"You girls should make out"
-You girls should make out and get naked.

"Your friend Stacy is pretty hot."

"Oh, that's interesting."
-No that is not interesting and you need to get the hell out of my way, I'm watching football.

"Uh huh," "Yeah..." "Oh really?"
-All responses we use to act like we're interested in your over drawn story about your day.

"I'm Pregnant."
-Oh, I'm sorry that's for girls. It really means "I don't want to lose you so maybe by lying about just about the biggest thing will help me keep my man." It also means "I'm a psycho."

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